Uber Boat By Thames Clippers hosts live comedy and music shows

Trinity Buoy Wharf-based river bus service is also selling New Year’s Eve fireworks sailings

Image shows an Uber Boat By Thames Clippers river bus sailing past the houses of Parliament at Night
Uber Boat By Thames Clippers has unveiled a programme of special sailings

Subscribe to our free Wharf Whispers newsletter here

When is a river bus not a river bus?

Perhaps when it’s hosting stand-up gigs, or maybe when it’s a live music venue.

Or how about when it’s offering cruises for New Year’s Eve?

There’s nothing new about Uber Boat By Thames Clippers’ vessels being used for diverse purposes.

The rapid craft have long been hired out to clients who typically use them to transport people to or from events.

The Trinity Buoy Wharf-based business also offers Illuminated River Official Boat Tours so people can experience the capital’s bridges and buildings lit up from the water.

But 2024 brings something new.

“Our normal river bus service is our core business – and always will be – but we’ve also been looking at the evening time to see how we can engage with some of our customers,” said Adrian White, head of marketing and communications for the Clippers.

“So we’ve set up a series of comedy and music nights. Audiences will arrive at our recently opened Clipper Lounge at Embankment Pier.

“They’ll be able to get a drink there and board their boat.

“From there, they’ll sail up and down the river – London is really beautiful at night – enjoy the performances and then return to Embankment.

“If people have never used one of our services before, hopefully this will be a great introduction to find a different way of travelling in the capital, either for a commute or as a tourist.”

Image shows comedian, a man with short dark hair, in a bright floral shirt covered with roses
Comedian Michael Legge will feature on the second of three comedy cruises

comedy aboard Uber Boat By Thames Clippers

While this is something new for the Clippers, demand has already seen two comedy nights become three after the first date on October 4 sold out.

That show will feature the talents of Ben Norris, Sarah Kendall and Tim FitzHigham, who once raised more than £10,000 for Comic Relief by sailing a paper boat 160 miles down the Thames.

“With that history, we thought he would be absolutely perfect and clearly we’ve seen there’s a demand for this kind of event,” said Adrian.

“Tickets are already going fast for the second show and we’ve only just made the third date live.

“We’ll also look at doing more of these events in future, especially during the darker months of the year.

“We’ll showcase the best that London has to offer in terms of lights and sights, while people listen to comics that will put a smile on their faces.”

Doors for the comedy shows open at 6pm with sailing at 6.30pm-8.30pm. Tickets cost £20 per person and are available for events on November 8 and December 5.

The former will feature Mike Gunn, Jimmy McGhie and Michael Legge, while the latter stars Keith Farnan, Jenny Collier and Funmbi Omotayo.

Image shows a Sofar Sounds performer, a violinist, playing to a crowd. The company has partnered with Uber Boat By Thames Clippers
Sofar Sounds specialises in gigs at unusual locations

mystery performances by Sofar Sounds

Uber Boat By Thames Clippers has also teamed up with Sofar Sounds for a pair of live music dates in the autumn.

Typically those attending the brand’s gigs don’t know the location of the concert, but in this instance ticket holders will know where they’re going. 

They won’t, however, know who they’ll be listening to until they arrive.

“London is probably the music capital of the world – everyone comes and plays here,” said Adrian. 

“Sofar Sounds is the perfect partner.

“We provide an interesting venue and they have a customer base that are intrigued by the proposition.

“Again, if they prove popular, we’ll put more on.”

Like the comedy nights, audiences will embark at Embankment Pier with boarding at 7.15pm for sailing at 7.30pm. 

Tickets for the two scheduled events on October 31 and November 14, cost £41 per person.

The identity of performers will remain secret until the gig, but there will be three acts to watch.

Image shows bridges over the River Thames in central London lit up in bright colours at night
Uber Boat By Thames Clippers offers the Illuminated River Official Boat Tour

a new spot on the river

The opening of Clipper Lounge brings a number of benefits to the business.

Open on Embankment Pier to all-comers whether using the boats or not, its current hours of operation are 11am-9pm Monday-Wednesday and until 11pm Thursday-Saturday.

It serves light bites alongside a drinks menu that ranges from Dom Perignon to bottled beers and boasts views of central London from its position on the Thames.

“It means we have use of the pier, so if a client is hiring one of our boats privately, they can use the Clipper Lounge as a place to meet before they get on board,” said Alison Murphy, head of sales at the Clippers. 

“It also means organisations have much longer to get their group together in comfort before they get on board and people can hire the venue itself for an evening too.

“As a company, we’ve always operated elements in addition to our river bus services. 

“But these latest additions take that and move it to more of a public offering – using our vessels in a different way.”

Image shows a couple toasting with Champagne on board Uber Boat By Thames Clippers
Uber Boat By Thames Clippers also has a series of special New Year’s Eve cruises to watch the fireworks in central London

sailing into the New Year

In a similar vein, Uber Boat By Thames Clippers has just unveiled its offering for New Year’s Eve, where guests can join sailings to watch the fireworks. 

“People will board one of four vessels, enjoy a welcome drink, snacks and music from Sofar Sounds,” said Alison.

“After a cruise, the vessels will moor up to give those on board an unrivalled view of the fireworks. 

“At midnight there will be Champagne and then the boats will return to the piers they left from.”

Cruises leave from Putney, Battersea Power Station and Canary Wharf at 10pm.

For those further to the east or south-east, there will be a sailing from Gravesend at 9pm stopping at Barking Riverside and North Greenwich as it makes its way into central London.

Tickets for all options cost £180 per person.

key details: Uber Boat By Thames Clippers

There are tickets still available for comedy nights on board Uber Boat By Thames Clippers on November 8 and December 5.

They cost £20. Sofar Sounds gigs take place on October 31 and November 14. They cost £41. 

Sailings for New Year’s Eve take place from Gravesend (stopping at Barking Riverside and North Greenwich), Putney, Battersea Power Station and Canary Wharf.

Tickets cost £180.

Find out more about special sailings here

Read more: How Boat Sales By Aquavista offers residential moorings in east London

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to our free Wharf Whispers newsletter here

- Jon Massey is co-founder and editorial director of Wharf Life and writes about a wide range of subjects in Canary Wharf, Docklands and east London - contact via jon.massey@wharf-life.com
Subscribe To Wharf Life

Ben Goldsmith set for CrimeLandTown preview at The Pen Theatre

Affectionate spoof of mob movies is set for month-long run at JustTheTonic for the Edinburgh Fringe

Image shows a smiling man with blue eyes and red hair in a black and white check jacket and white T-shirt in front of Billingsgate Fish Market's red brick buildings
Comedian Ben Goldsmith, also founder and director of Goldsmith Communications

Subscribe to our free Wharf Whispers newsletter here

Like many involved in the murky world of organised crime, Ben Goldsmith leads a double life.

By day, he’s founder and director of Goldsmith Communications – a public relations consultancy specialising in serving tech and venture capital clients.

But, by night, he can be found indulging his other passion – trying to make people laugh.

“Comedy is never a fork in the road decision – as a kid you know you’re a bit of an idiot and that plays out at school,” said Ben. “You just have it in you.

“I was used to teachers telling me off – that we should be getting on with maths rather than telling jokes.

“But my A-Level theatre studies teacher, Coral Walton at Monk’s Walk School in Welwyn Garden City, just thought it was great – that I was good at these things and she encouraged me.

“I don’t come from a family of performing people and it was Coral who, as a director at the local theatre, told me I should audition for a play she was putting on.

“This was never on my radar and I thought: ‘No way’ – it just wasn’t cool at 16.

“But she insisted and even drove me to the audition.

“I got the part and then, up until the age of 21, I did a bunch of acting stuff alongside university, where I worked on student papers and got into the world of journalism and PR.”

Comedian Ben Goldsmith mock-punches himself in front of an air vent to promote his show CrimeLandTown
Ben plays all the characters in his show CrimeLandTown

a move into comms

Ben’s career in communications then took over, seeing him move through various roles including running the PR operation for Canary Wharf’s tech community, Level39.

But he remained interested in the performing arts and especially comedy.

“Every August I’d go to the Edinburgh Fringe and I loved it,” he said. “It was like my perfect theme park, seeing comedians I liked and discovering new performers.”

After five years concentrating on his career, an encounter with Graham Dickson’s improv show at the festival sparked something in Ben and he returned to London, enrolled on a comedy class and started performing again.

“For years I did improvisation alongside my work,” he said.

“When I was 27 I set up Goldsmith Communications and the comedy was incredibly helpful because, when you’re setting up a business, every day is completely new and you have to adapt to it.

“The other brilliant thing about improv is that there are no lines to learn, so it fits in if you’re busy. It’s a huge part of my life – I met my wife through comedy.”

Ben narrows his eyes and peers at teh camera with his mouth half open
Ben Goldsmith says his show is an affectionate spoof of mob movies

Ben Goldsmith on his love for mob movies

The success of his PR business means Ben has a bit more freedom now to once again pursue comedy and he’s indulging another of his passions – Mafia movies – in a move away from improv.

“I’m making a show and taking it up to Edinburgh, which is massive,” he said.

“I took a piece called Steve’s Last Day to the Prague Fringe, which was all about a copper’s final shift with all the action taking place in the village hall.

“I did it six times and it went down really well, but I decided to put it aside because I knew what I really wanted to do.

“I’ve always loved mob movies.

“The characters are so much larger than life – they’re such a bunch of goofballs – so you can play with those stereotypes.

“I’ve been working on CrimeLandTown for the last year or so, building it up and presenting it as a work in progress.

“If you enjoy Mafia movies, you’ll enjoy the show.

“The idea is the audience is involved in what’s happening – you’ll always be a part of what’s going on.

“You might be part of a heist that one of my characters is leading, or guests in a club.

“You’ll meet mob bosses, the FBI and a bar singer who gets in too deep, then wants to clear his name.”

Comedian Ben Goldmsmith raises a finger in a mock salute while making a funny face
CrimeLandTown will have several previews in London before transferring to Edinburgh

playing all the parts in CrimeLandTown

For Ben, the show is a labour of love, poking fun at a genre rich in tropes and silliness, but from a place of respect.

Playing all the parts himself, it’s structured as a series of sketches that all combine to tell a story of wise guys and dodgy accents.

“I describe it as an affectionate spoof,” he said.

“People are familiar with these movies, which are often a bit like a high wire act because while they are about serious topics, many of them are also super funny.

“If you’re parodying anything, it’s important to work out what people already know – if you’re a nerd about those things, you’ve got to be aware how geeky you are.

“I’ve watched the movies and the TV shows, so I know what will be familiar to people who like the films, but hopefully a lot of the stuff will be funny to those who are not so familiar.

“In the show, the main character – a bar singer who always wanted to be a wise guy – sees the impending heist as a chance to live his dream of becoming a mobster.

“We’ve all had dreams and made compromises, so this guy takes a singing job in a mob-adjacent industry – then gets his chance to become part of it and it all ends one way or another.

“Of course, people who like the genre don’t want to see me take the piss out of them.

CrimeTownLand just aims to celebrate the funny things about them. “

Ben Goldsmith wears a pair of sunglasses and makes a silly face in Canary Wharf while promoting his new show CrimeLandTown
Ben says, like those in organised crime, he’s always wanted to push against the everyday

Ben Goldsmith on transgressing

“When you watch a mob movie, everyone in it is rejecting the conventional,” said Ben.

“They’re living outside the legal norms and everyone is transgressing. There’s a thrill in that.

“Personally, I’ve always wanted to push against the everyday too.

“Comedy is funny when people are trying to skewer the world and look at everything from a sideways perspective.

“Being at Level39, I was around a lot of business founders and it dawned on me that many of them just wanted to kick the crap out of the nine-to-five and do their own thing. 

“Similarly, people doing comedy want to see what’s out there and then to try and bend or break it, just like the characters in mob movies.

“Starting my own business totally changed my life.

“It’s now given me the time and the bandwidth to create shows and do these festivals.

“There’s a lot to do, but it works if you plan things.

“I know a bunch of comedians who are working and went into it without a safety net, but I needed to have the security of having the career side sorted.

“Right now I just love that I’m able to do it.

“When I first went up to the Fringe I didn’t know anyone who was performing.

“I wasn’t doing improv and my local theatre days were behind me.

“However, the people I met up there ultimately put me in the position to make this show now. Compared to others, it’s tiny – a 60-person room for 24 days in August.

“But hopefully it will be a step on the way to the next thing, whatever that is. 

“Either way, it’s been a dream to take a show to Edinburgh – it’s worth a go and it might just pay off.

“After the Fringe, I’d love to take it to more places round the neighbourhood.

“I’m keen to keep going because it’s just a really fun thing to do.”

So, you’ve got the dates. Just remember, don’t forget about it.

our thing

Ben Goldsmith’s CrimeLandTown will be performed at The Pen Theatre in South Bermondsey on July 11, 2024, at 7pm. Tickets cost £8.30.

Ben Goldsmith will also be performing his show at Watford Pump House on July 20, 2024, and Aces And Eights in Tufnell Park on July 25, 2024, before taking it to the Edinburgh Fringe at JustTheTonic from August 1-25, 2024.

Find out more about the show here

Read more: East Bank director Tamsin Ace on collaboration in Stratford

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to our free Wharf Whispers newsletter here

- Jon Massey is co-founder and editorial director of Wharf Life and writes about a wide range of subjects in Canary Wharf, Docklands and east London - contact via jon.massey@wharf-life.com
Subscribe To Wharf Life

South Bermondsey: How The Pen Theatre provides a low-risk stage for performers

The Penarth Centre venue boasts 40 seats and is ideal for developing work or testing material

The Pen Theatre boasts a 40-seat auditorium and is available for hire

Subscribe to our free Wharf Whispers newsletter here

There’s probably a half-baked line about The Pen being mightier than the Royal Court, where the latter is just about phonetically similar to “sword”.

But this isn’t the place.

This article should have gone through an editing process to knock it into shape and that sort of thing would almost certainly be left on the cutting room floor. 

But that’s also the point – I mention it here, because that kind of editing and development is one of the activities The Pen Theatre facilitates. 

“My background is in performance,” said MJ Ashton, the venue’s founder and director.

“I went to Rose Bruford College a few years ago, then started my own company – The Völvas – which was a feminist performance ensemble. 

“I toured that project for four or five years on the fringe circuits and played at various festivals and London theatres, so I experienced a lot of what was available for an emerging company.

“I’ve always felt strongly about theatres being accessible to artists and thought I’d love to run my own theatre so I could draw on my experiences and offer really cheap hire rates to performers.”

With her project having naturally reached its end and the pandemic closing the industry, that thought became more than an idea one day over a coffee with her partner, Jack Carvosso. 

The artist and photographer was looking at expanding his picture framing business, taking on a larger space at the Penarth Centre in South Bermondsey’s Penarth Street. 

A large unit had recently been vacated by a church and he was sure a third of it would do for his activities.

A similar space could be used by his friends’ business – artist-led publisher and bookbinder Folium – but what to do with the spare footage? 

“That was when MJ thought about creating a theatre,” said Jack, who has become the venue’s associate director.

“In that one meeting, we drew everything out on a napkin, then proposed it to the landlord and he loved the idea.

“The unit hadn’t been well maintained by the previous tenants, so we patched everything up, put in brand new wiring and started the journey to where we are now.

 “For me, it’s picture framing during the day and then, in the evenings, I help MJ with the theatre.”

Launched in January 2022, The Pen has hosted hundreds of shows over its first two years – offering performers a vital space to stage their first productions, hone works-in-progress, give fully realised pieces an outing or just experiment with an audience.

Jack Carvosso and MJ Ashton of The Pen Theatre

The venue has a maximum of 40 seats and provides box office facilities, technical equipment, a dressing room and green room, marketing support and front-of-house and bar staff.

Artists who want to put on shows apply to the venue, then go ahead if their proposal is accepted.

“We’re very inclusive,” said MJ. “We accept a lot of people’s applications – we invite them to come in.

“Some theatres ask for hundreds of pounds per night, but we run at cost and charge £56.50 per show.

“Then we offer a 70%-30% split on ticket sales in favour of the artist.

“This makes it affordable for artists to come in with new writing.

“It’s a low-risk space that allows them to perform – a platform that’s between a rehearsal space and a bigger theatre, where they can test their work.

“This can be good for getting reviewers in – it’s an opportunity for people to build a bit of a reputation before they start applying for larger venues. 

“We also offer free tech and dress rehearsals to keep costs really low because we know a lot of people don’t have much money.”

With the Edinburgh Fringe dominating the calendar, The Pen has carved out a role as an ideal test bed for shows before artists take them north to the proving ground of Scotland.

“We had about 65 shows over two months,” said MJ.

“The stress level was very high, but putting on shows at The Pen allowed them to try out their material before going up.

“The festival has really become the epicentre of our year – in August we quieten down, but then in September and October, we run a Fresh Off The Fringe season for acts that want to perform at a London venue after it has finished.”

With rehearsal space at the London Performance Studios in the same building, there’s a sense that The Pen is very much an integral cog in a larger machine of creativity and performance.

It’s a role both MJ and Jack clearly relish.

The Pen Theatre is located at the Penarth Centre in South Bermondsey’s Penarth Street

“When I was a performer, I thought I’d like my own space to put on anything I wanted,” said MJ.

“But now I have that, I’ve realised what I really enjoy is helping other people to develop their own stuff. 

“I’d feel a bit silly putting on my own shows – it would have been a bit egotistical to build this whole thing for myself.

“Perhaps I am surprised just how much I enjoy watching other artists develop, but I am rooting for everyone. It’s opened my eyes a bit to see what people can do. 

“We really want to create a warm comfortable environment for them and the audience so everyone can enjoy it.”

Jack added: “We watch every single show and I love it. The variety we see is just incredible. 

“Some are better than others, but it’s a great atmosphere here. There’s nothing more satisfying than seeing the performers and the audience having a good time.”

The Pen’s stage offers a growing pipeline of productions, with works for stage rubbing up alongside comics performing stand-up and even cabaret and scratch nights.

For MJ and Jack, having established the venue with no backing as a going concern, the next step will be to explore ways to grow and develop The Pen.

“At the moment we’re in a comfortable place,” said MJ. “We’ve made a profit and people are getting to know us.

“The next stage is for us to try and find some funding so we can hire people to work as programmers and manage the space. 

“We’d like to have a bigger team and to become a theatre that supports writers, directors and the production of shows.”

Jack added: “But to do this, we need funding. We want to pay people appropriately – we don’t want them working for free.”

The Pen Theatre is located about 20 minutes’ walk from Surrey Quays DLR, or 10 minutes from South Bermondsey station.

Find out more about what’s on at The Pen Theatre here

Read more: How Canary Wharf Group has launched Wharf Connect, a network for early career professionals

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to our free Wharf Whispers newsletter here

- Jon Massey is co-founder and editorial director of Wharf Life and writes about a wide range of subjects in Canary Wharf, Docklands and east London - contact via jon.massey@wharf-life.com
Subscribe To Wharf Life

Canary Wharf: How Festival14 will take over the whole estate with five days of events

Theatre, comedy, dance, wellness and live music make up a packed programme over six venues

Festival14 is set to return to Canary Wharf from July 26-30,2023

Subscribe to our Wharf Whispers newsletter here

Where to even start with Festival14?

Having taken the decision to focus much of its summer arts and events programme into four days last year, Canary Wharf Group (CWG) has extended the 2023 iteration by a day, packing the calendar for July 26-30.

“We’ve really built on our programme from 2022,” said Camilla McGregor of CWG’s arts and events team.

“In addition to Winter Lights in January, Festival14 is an anchor event in our season.

“It’s trying to combine all the things that we do, like outdoor theatre, classical music concerts and dance so that people can come down and experience them on a single visit or over a few days.

“The amazing thing about the format is that everything is happening on the Canary Wharf estate within walking distance.

“Someone coming down might see some Shakespeare, take part in a workshop at the Fandangoe Discoteca then see a performance in Canada Square Park.

“Most of the festival is free because it’s important to make it accessible to the local community and as wide and audience as possible.

“We are charging for some events where there is limited space but the tickets are very reasonably priced.

“In planning the programme it’s also been important for us to create an inclusive festival with artists and acts from a diverse cross section of society in London.

“Whichever genre – theatre, comedy or music, for example – everyone should be represented.”

Buskers will be performing in Jubilee Park throughout the festival

With events and performances taking place from 11am or noon each day, there will be big name acts alongside less well-known attractions spread across six main venues.

“We’re incredibly excited to have Soul II Soul to headline Friday night in Canada Square Park because they are world famous and we’ve wanted to host them for a long time,” said Camilla. 

“On the comedy side we have performers like Mark Watson, Lou Sanders and Shaparak Khorsandi at The Monty Tent in Montgomery Square.

The Comedy Club will run in it for four nights with comedy for kids on the Sunday.

“Personally I’m looking forward to Big Fish, Little Fish Family Rave – a two-hour party designed for parents and kids to celebrate life with bubbles and balloons.

“Then on the main stage there are sets from Craig Charles and Norman Jay who are both household names and have been on the London circuit for years – they’re both amazing.

“Over the years our summer concerts have appealed to the community and we have a strong returning audience so for Festival14 we wanted to create a line-up suitable for our loyal fans and new audiences alike.

Westferry Circus will host a number of plays

“That’s why we have chosen jazz, soul and r’n’b.

“For example, we will have Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Orchestra  who are very well established and more contemporary sounds from Laura Misch, both on the Sunday.

“Canary Wharf has a long tradition of engaging with the local community too so we will have theatre programmed by The Space on the Isle Of Dogs and a performance from the Docklands Sinfonia in the mix too as well as artists who grew up in east London.

“There will be loads for kids and families to do too with the Crossrail Place Roof Garden the venue for many of these kinds of events.”

So, diaries out – the festival is only two weeks away but there’s still plenty of time to plan those must-sees.

Don’t forget the street food from Karnival in Montgomery Square, daily from noon, either. 

Click here for the full Festival14 programme

Read More: How Leo Weisz Therapy offers rapid, in-depth help

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to our Wharf Whispers newsletter here

- Jon Massey is co-founder and editorial director of Wharf Life and writes about a wide range of subjects in Canary Wharf, Docklands and east London - contact via jon.massey@wharf-life.com
Subscribe To Wharf Life

Canary Wharf: How Festival14’s packed programme is a whole new approach

Event running July 21-24 promises more than 50 performances to help people discover the Wharf


Festival14 will run from July 21-24, 2022 across Canary Wharf
Festival14 will run from July 21-24, 2022 across Canary Wharf

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

Grandmaster Flash. Live, in Canada Square Park. For free.

Those words alone are testament to the fact that Festival14 is something new for Canary Wharf.

The DJ and hip hop pioneer –responsible for the first expression of scratching ever released on a record – is set to mix among the towers as the headline act on the main stage on July 21, 2022. And that’s just the first night.

Running Thursday-Sunday, Festival14 is set to fill the estate with more than 50 performances encompassing comedy, theatre, dance, family activities and, of course, music.

our MUSIC picks for FESTIVAL14
- July 21 - Grandmaster Flash
8.15pm, free, Canada Square Park
- July 22 - House Gospel Choir
8.30pm, free, Canada Square Park
- July 23 - Ronnie Scotts Jazz Orchestra
time TBC, free, Canada Square Park
- July 24 - Sona
time TBC, free, Canada Square Park

The mostly free events will run daily between noon and 10pm at a diverse selection of venues designed specifically to encourage visitors to explore Canary Wharf.

“We’d seen the success of events like our Winter Lights festival, which takes place across lots of different parts of the estate and the amazing buzz people feel when they arrive for that,” said senior arts and events manager at Canary Wharf Group, Pippa Dale.

“So we wanted to create a similar feeling for Festival14 so that it’s very obvious when people get here that there’s something really exciting and new happening.

“People in Canary Wharf are often quite set on the places they know – the places they go to lunch, for example – so we’re hoping this will help them explore and discover different areas.”

Most of the performances at Festival14 will be free
Most of the performances at Festival14 will be free

In addition to the dozens of performances and activities, there will also be a street food market every day in Montgomery Square and special offers from some bars, restaurants and cafes for the duration.

Canary Wharf Group director of arts and events Lucie Moore said: “Moving forward, we’re looking at putting on larger scale events over shorter periods of time to bring as many people as possible to the estate but also to change perceptions about the area.

“Events and cultural activities have always been really important to Canary Wharf in terms of placemaking and, since Covid, they’re something people are looking at and talking about even more.

our COMEDY picks for FESTIVAL14
- July 21 - Milton Jones, Jessica Fostekew
7.15pm, £11, Westferry Circus Roundabout
- July 22 - Reginald D Hunter, Jo Caulfield
6pm, £11, Westferry Circus Roundabout
-l July 23 - Paul Sinha, Felicity Ward
6pm, £11, Westferry Circus Roundabout
Follow this link for bookings

“These events are a real team effort and we couldn’t be able to do them without the work of so many people across Canary Wharf Group’s teams. 

“The estate is now busy and buzzy and with the arrival of the Elizabeth Line, there’s the potential for even more people to visit.

“That’s an opportunity for us, in terms of events, because there are people who will come in from other areas who may not have done in the past.

“For Festival14 it will be really interesting to see what numbers we get in comparison to things like Winter Lights in past years.”

Events will take place from noon over the four days
Events will take place from noon over the four days

The full programme for Festival14 – a name inspired by Canary Wharf’s postcode, E14 – is still being finalised, with all updates expected online by July.  

Pippa said: “In contrast to previous years with our Tuesday night music concerts, we’ve booked some bigger acts.

“It’s a packed programme and, especially at the weekends, people will be able to listen from noon right through until 9pm or 10pm at night.

“Grandmaster Flash is our opening headliner and we think he will appeal to the audience that’s already here – a bit of nostalgia after a day in the office and a bit of a party.

our THEATRE picks for FESTIVAL14
- July 21 - 440 Theatre, Hamlet
1pm, free, Westferry Circus Roundabout
-l July 22 - The Canary Cabaret

7.30pm, free (ticketed), Crossrail Place Roof Garden
- July 23 - Mischief And Mayhem

5pm, free (ticketed), Crossrail Place Roof Garden
- July 24 - The Handlebards Romeo & Juliet
1pm, free, Westferry Circus Roundabout
Follow this link for bookings

“I’m really excited about having House Gospel Choir – they’re a group I’ve admired for a long time and we’ve been waiting for the right event to book them.

“They’re pretty local too, as is Hackney Colliery Band. We’re also really pleased to be able to host Sona on the Sunday, during her UK tour.

“The outdoor comedy at Westferry Circus also features some big names, so that’s ticketed because we have limited space and we’re expecting it to be very popular.

“We’ll be having open air theatre at that venue too with the return of The Handlebards who are fantastic and 440 Theatre who do Shakespeare plays in 40 minutes.”

The Handlebards are set to return to Westferry Circus
The Handlebards are set to return to Westferry Circus

There will also be a series of theatre performances at Crossrail Place Roof Garden – ticketed but free due to the capacity of the venue.

“Whenever we do anything we try to include the local community and local businesses and organisations around the estate,” said Lucie.

“We’re very fortunate to work where we are but we’re aware there are areas around us that need supporting.

“The Space has been operating up in the Roof Garden for years now and they were an obvious choice for us as a partner for part of Festival14 because they know that venue, we know what they do and they’ve put together a whole programme for us there.”

A range of kids activities will take place on the Saturday and Sunday, including dance music party Big Fish Little Fish Family Rave at Westferry Circus and puppetry in the form of Bus King Theatre: Marvelo’s Circus at Montgomery Square.  

“We’re really hoping, especially for families, that they will come and spend the whole day with us – do a workshop, have lunch and listen to some music,” said Lucie.

“We’ve really tried to cover a lot of areas and there will be one or two unexpected events too, such as a van that serves up takeaway poetry. We’re not finished yet.”

Here’s a little Grandmaster Flash to get you in the mood…

Read more: The O2 celebrates 15 years of gigs, events and performances

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

- Jon Massey is co-founder and editorial director of Wharf Life and writes about a wide range of subjects in Canary Wharf, Docklands and east London - contact via jon.massey@wharf-life.com
Subscribe To Wharf Life

Blackheath: Why comedian Ed Byrne’s taking a hard look at himself in If I’m Honest

Comic talks Ed Venturing, small victories and parenting ahead of his show at Blackheath Halls

Comedian Ed Byrne is set to play Blackheath Halls
Comedian Ed Byrne is set to play Blackheath Halls – image by Idil Sukan

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

Having been warned by his PR that I’ll have a maximum of 20 minutes to chat to comedian Ed Byrne, disaster strikes within minutes of him picking up.

After exchanging pleasantries, the line suddenly goes dead. Was it something I said? Is Byrne offend-Ed? I re-dial. Answerphone. 

For those who care about these things, Ed’s message is functional, polite and short. There’s not much material for an article here, no blistering one-liner to recount. I hang up and call again.

The second hand ticks round. He picks up. That sonorous Irish lilt is back in my ears.

“I’m sorry about that,” he says. “I think I may have somehow hung up on you with my face.”

Ed’s cheekbones aren’t the only sharp thing about him. Since his first gig, 28 years ago this November, the Irish comic has built a career skilfully dissecting his life and presenting its absurdities for the amusement of others.

Having been nominated for the Perrier Award at the Edinburgh Festival in 1998, he’s gone on to appear regularly on TV including on panel shows such as Mock The Week and game shows as a celebrity contestant while continuing to perform live across the country.

He’s set to perform his latest show – If I’m Honestat Blackheath Halls on October 20. Although this comes as something of a surprise to him.

“Am I?” he says. “I must be. I think that’s a new venue for me, if I’m not mistaken. What threw me was that I was just in that part of London for the Greenwich Comedy Festival, which was a great laugh. I got the sunshine, I was lucky. It rained the next day.”

That Ed isn’t completely across his touring schedule feeds into the topic of the show he’ll be performing, which considers what traits, if any, he’d be happy to pass on to his kids.

“I haven’t tried to pass anything on,” he says. “But I’ve tried to drill out of them stuff that I know is innately coming from me.

“I’m very bad at being able to find things – my keys, my credit cards – and my older son is exactly the same, but there’s nothing I can say about it, because it’s my fault.

“I’m asking him if he knows where his water bottle is, and, if he had the wit, he’d ask if I knew where my sunglasses are.

“I have two kids, and nothing is more annoying than your children, because they are irritating in ways that you recognise in yourself.

“So I thought: ‘What about me am I happy to be passing on to these children, and what about me am I worried about passing on to these children?

“Ostensibly it’s about kids, but really it’s about me – I’m taking a long hard look at myself. I thought there was mileage in that, and indeed there is.

“I talk about stuff that the kids get from me, that I know I get from my parents – the desire to have the last word in an argument.

“I talk about the good things – I’m quite funny – and it also covers the skills that can’t be taught.

“For example, I’m pleased that since my mid-40s, I’ve become skilled in recognising when a cramp is going to happen and stopping it before it does. You feel it, leap out of bed and say: ‘Not today’, pat yourself on the back and go: ‘Ed Byrne, 1, insufficiently oxygenated muscle, nil’.

“It’s about finding those little victories in life. I tell a story about cutting myself with a knife recently, but being delighted because it’s a blade that I’d sharpened.

“You look for things to be proud of. Doing stand-up is a bit of a relief valve – you might be having a conversation and then later find a way to put the humour from it into a monologue.

“You can say things to an audience that you wouldn’t in real life – for instance, my kids might be really excited to get on a plane and all I want to say is: ‘This is shit, it’s Ryanair’, so I say that on stage instead, embellishing things slightly. 

“There’s going to come a point when they watch my stand-up and it will be like handing them the Allen key that dismantles my armour, because my comedy is full of my insecurities and particularly about my failings as a parent.

“I fear that day – when they do finally watch it, will they have respect for the fact that I stand up in front of people and do all these things and make them laugh, or will they say I sound like a loser?

“Talking about how soft my erections are and how bad I am at general life-skills.”

Ed's latest show is called If I'm Honest
Ed’s latest show is called If I’m Honest – image by Idil Sukan

Ed wrote If I’m Honest and began touring the show shortly before the pandemic hit. Having tweaked the material and performed his fair share of drive-ins and Zoom shows he says it’s delightful to be back in front of live audiences again.

“It’s been such a relief to be doing it,” he says. “We were having to make do. I likened it to really wanting a Mars bar when all you have is cooking chocolate. 

“That’s all there is so you make the most of it. Lockdown was miserable and then what we’ve had over the past 18 months has been miserable. 

“I think if I’d known at the start it was going to be so long it would have been more frightening.

“I did some other things, some TV and I’m very lucky because I’d been doing that stuff for years so I’d built up some equity – a lot of comedians I know had to go and get day jobs. It’s made me appreciate it all the more. 

“When I started out, there was a sense among the grown-ups that you needed something to fall back on. I was making a living out of stand-up in my early 20s, but I’d go home to my parents, and hear from them, friends and neighbours that I should have that.

“It’s a trade, a craft, it’s my job. Now it’s the stand-up I fall back on – I do other things such as acting and a bit of presenting.

“Then, 18 months ago, it was actually, finally taken away, and you go: ‘Shit. This career, that I’ve had for a quarter of a century, isn’t there anymore. It’s finally as unstable as people thought it might have been when I started.”

As a side project, Ed conceived Ed Venturing, a YouTube show launched in February where he interviews other comedians, having invited them to join him in his passion for hillwalking. 

“It’s very much in its infancy at the moment – there’s only four episodes up at the moment,” he says. “But there are two or three more in the can, and I’m hopefully going to record some more over the next month or two. So far we’ve released Rhod Gilbert, Stuart Maconie, Desiree Burch and Hal Cruttenden.

“I try to put off looking back as long as possible, until we’re at least 45 minutes into the walk. Then we sit down and talk about their career and how far they’ve come. It just suits the mood.”

Time for reflection is something of a theme with Ed, whether he’s working on new material or considering the view from a freshly conquered peak while consuming peanut M&Ms or a morsel of his homemade beef jerky.

So what does he think about the show he’s touring?

“I really want people to come and see it because this is genuinely in the top three stand-up shows I’ve ever written – it’s worth it,” he says.

“If you’ve not seen a lot of stand-up, then you should come to this show that I think is pretty good. I did one back in 1998, when I was nominated for the Perrier, which was called A Night At The Opera, and that was my break-through.

“Then I did one about 13 years ago – Different Class – which everyone agrees is the best show I’ve ever done. I feel this one is up there with those other two.

“It’s just typical that this was the one that got shut down. The routines feel good, it’s like singing a song, you know where the laughs are – I’m really enjoying it.”

Tickets for Ed Byrne: If I’m Honest at Blackheath Halls cost £25. The performance starts at 8pm. 

Read e-editions of Wharf Life’s print edition here

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

Subscribe To Wharf Life