Thames Archives - Wharf Life

September 18, 2024September 18, 2024

Uber Boat By Thames Clippers hosts live comedy and music shows

Trinity Buoy Wharf-based river bus service is also selling New Year’s Eve fireworks sailings

Image shows an Uber Boat By Thames Clippers river bus sailing past the houses of Parliament at Night — Uber Boat By Thames Clippers has unveiled a programme of special sailings

Subscribe to our free Wharf Whispers newsletter here

When is a river bus not a river bus?

Perhaps when it’s hosting stand-up gigs, or maybe when it’s a live music venue.

Or how about when it’s offering cruises for New Year’s Eve?

There’s nothing new about Uber Boat By Thames Clippers’ vessels being used for diverse purposes.

The rapid craft have long been hired out to clients who typically use them to transport people to or from events.

The Trinity Buoy Wharf-based business also offers Illuminated River Official Boat Tours so people can experience the capital’s bridges and buildings lit up from the water.

But 2024 brings something new.

“Our normal river bus service is our core business – and always will be – but we’ve also been looking at the evening time to see how we can engage with some of our customers,” said Adrian White, head of marketing and communications for the Clippers.

“So we’ve set up a series of comedy and music nights. Audiences will arrive at our recently opened Clipper Lounge at Embankment Pier.

“They’ll be able to get a drink there and board their boat.

“From there, they’ll sail up and down the river – London is really beautiful at night – enjoy the performances and then return to Embankment.

“If people have never used one of our services before, hopefully this will be a great introduction to find a different way of travelling in the capital, either for a commute or as a tourist.”

Image shows comedian, a man with short dark hair, in a bright floral shirt covered with roses — Comedian Michael Legge will feature on the second of three comedy cruises

comedy aboard Uber Boat By Thames Clippers

While this is something new for the Clippers, demand has already seen two comedy nights become three after the first date on October 4 sold out.

That show will feature the talents of Ben Norris, Sarah Kendall and Tim FitzHigham, who once raised more than £10,000 for Comic Relief by sailing a paper boat 160 miles down the Thames.

“With that history, we thought he would be absolutely perfect and clearly we’ve seen there’s a demand for this kind of event,” said Adrian.

“Tickets are already going fast for the second show and we’ve only just made the third date live.

“We’ll also look at doing more of these events in future, especially during the darker months of the year.

“We’ll showcase the best that London has to offer in terms of lights and sights, while people listen to comics that will put a smile on their faces.”

Doors for the comedy shows open at 6pm with sailing at 6.30pm-8.30pm. Tickets cost £20 per person and are available for events on November 8 and December 5.

The former will feature Mike Gunn, Jimmy McGhie and Michael Legge, while the latter stars Keith Farnan, Jenny Collier and Funmbi Omotayo.

Image shows a Sofar Sounds performer, a violinist, playing to a crowd. The company has partnered with Uber Boat By Thames Clippers — Sofar Sounds specialises in gigs at unusual locations

mystery performances by Sofar Sounds

Uber Boat By Thames Clippers has also teamed up with Sofar Sounds for a pair of live music dates in the autumn.

Typically those attending the brand’s gigs don’t know the location of the concert, but in this instance ticket holders will know where they’re going.

They won’t, however, know who they’ll be listening to until they arrive.

“London is probably the music capital of the world – everyone comes and plays here,” said Adrian.

“Sofar Sounds is the perfect partner.

“We provide an interesting venue and they have a customer base that are intrigued by the proposition.

“Again, if they prove popular, we’ll put more on.”

Like the comedy nights, audiences will embark at Embankment Pier with boarding at 7.15pm for sailing at 7.30pm.

Tickets for the two scheduled events on October 31 and November 14, cost £41 per person.

The identity of performers will remain secret until the gig, but there will be three acts to watch.

Image shows bridges over the River Thames in central London lit up in bright colours at night — Uber Boat By Thames Clippers offers the Illuminated River Official Boat Tour

a new spot on the river

The opening of Clipper Lounge brings a number of benefits to the business.

Open on Embankment Pier to all-comers whether using the boats or not, its current hours of operation are 11am-9pm Monday-Wednesday and until 11pm Thursday-Saturday.

It serves light bites alongside a drinks menu that ranges from Dom Perignon to bottled beers and boasts views of central London from its position on the Thames.

“It means we have use of the pier, so if a client is hiring one of our boats privately, they can use the Clipper Lounge as a place to meet before they get on board,” said Alison Murphy, head of sales at the Clippers.

“It also means organisations have much longer to get their group together in comfort before they get on board and people can hire the venue itself for an evening too.

“As a company, we’ve always operated elements in addition to our river bus services.

“But these latest additions take that and move it to more of a public offering – using our vessels in a different way.”

Image shows a couple toasting with Champagne on board Uber Boat By Thames Clippers — Uber Boat By Thames Clippers also has a series of special New Year’s Eve cruises to watch the fireworks in central London

sailing into the New Year

In a similar vein, Uber Boat By Thames Clippers has just unveiled its offering for New Year’s Eve, where guests can join sailings to watch the fireworks.

“People will board one of four vessels, enjoy a welcome drink, snacks and music from Sofar Sounds,” said Alison.

“After a cruise, the vessels will moor up to give those on board an unrivalled view of the fireworks.

“At midnight there will be Champagne and then the boats will return to the piers they left from.”

Cruises leave from Putney, Battersea Power Station and Canary Wharf at 10pm.

For those further to the east or south-east, there will be a sailing from Gravesend at 9pm stopping at Barking Riverside and North Greenwich as it makes its way into central London.

Tickets for all options cost £180 per person.

key details: Uber Boat By Thames Clippers

There are tickets still available for comedy nights on board Uber Boat By Thames Clippers on November 8 and December 5.

They cost £20. Sofar Sounds gigs take place on October 31 and November 14. They cost £41.

Sailings for New Year’s Eve take place from Gravesend (stopping at Barking Riverside and North Greenwich), Putney, Battersea Power Station and Canary Wharf.

Tickets cost £180.

Find out more about special sailings here

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to our free Wharf Whispers newsletter here

- Jon Massey is co-founder and editorial director of Wharf Life and writes about a wide range of subjects in Canary Wharf, Docklands and east London - contact via jon.massey@wharf-life.com

January 11, 2024January 11, 2024

Leamouth: How the SS Robin has returned to within 150m of her London birthplace

Historic ship’s move is the start of the latest chapter as Trinity Buoy Wharf prepares her for opening

The SS Robin, moored at her new home at Trinity Buoy Wharf – image Harry Dwyer

Subscribe to our free Wharf Whispers newsletter here

So there she sits, resplendent in her red and black livery, atop a specially constructed pontoon and ready for the next chapter of her life.

The SS Robin has, after some 133 years, returned to within 150m of the shipyard where the iron plates of her hull were first riveted together.

She might be smaller in size than the Cutty Sark and HMS Belfast – but make no mistake – as historic ships in London go, she’s deserving of attention.

And following her most recent relocation from Royal Victoria Dock to Trinity Buoy Wharf, the story of the only surviving Victorian steam ship in existence is a big step closer to getting appropriate prominence.

It’s a move that’s been a long time coming.

Having spent a chunk of her retirement (1991-2008) at West India Quay opposite Canary Wharf, the Crossrail project saw her moved to Suffolk, with funding secured for restoration.

That saw her lifted from the water and mounted on a pontoon in 2010, with the intention of returning her to Docklands for public exhibition.

But plans to open her as a museum ship in Royal Victoria Dock faltered so, while she has been moored near Millennium Mills since 2011, she’s remained mostly closed to the public and inaccessible.

Nearly there – passing the cable car over the Thames – image Simon Richards

Schemes were mooted, plans made and locations suggested, but in more than a decade, Robin failed to find a permanent home.

A site was not forthcoming in either the Royals or West India Docks, amid the ironically choppy administrative waters of the bodies managing these vast human-made lakes.

Eric Reynolds is founding director of Urban Space Management, which runs Trinity Buoy Wharf.

He is a man who makes things happen. London is strewn with projects he’s had a hand in – Camden Lock Market, Gabriel’s Wharf on the South Bank, Greenwich Market and Merton Abbey Mills, to name a few.

After becoming involved with the SS Robin and growing frustration at the failure to open her to the public as promised, he’s now overseen the relocation of the vessel to the mouth of the River Lea, where she will have a permanent home among the growing historic fleet at Trinity Buoy Wharf.

“The original intention was to keep going with the project and leave Robin where she was in Royal Docks,” said Eric.

“But eventually I gave up – I just couldn’t get any of the organisations to get off the fence.

“So instead we turned to the Port Of London Authority to get a licence to drive two piles into the riverbed at Trinity Buoy Wharf.

Heading through the Thames Barrier on her way to Trinity Buoy Wharf – image Simon Richards

“The ship and her pontoon probably have a combined weight of about 600tonnes, which is not something I’d want to moor directly against the listed river wall as it would pose some risk.

“So, instead, it’s held between two giant ‘knitting needles’, which weigh 17 tonnes each. There’s a seven-metre rise and fall of the tide, so Robin will demonstrate that every day.”

That change in level also presents the last significant stumbling block to opening the vessel to the public.

A 40m gangway is set to be installed over the next couple of months that will go up and down with the level of the water, providing access at a suitable gradient.

Then, members of the public will be able to tour the vessel and view a wealth of information about her past and why she’s been preserved in this way.

“The driving idea is to make that information and Robin herself available to people who live here and know the area, as well as newcomers to it,” said Eric.

“There’s a population the size of Swindon scheduled to move in – a whole new town is being created.

“Shipping is still the major way by which the world trades with itself and London is here because it was driven by this tidal river and the trade that took place on it.

“Robin is the very last complete trading vessel of the period in the world with its original method of propulsion still in place.

“She was sold reasonably early in her life to the Spanish who operated her on a bit of a shoestring, so they didn’t do what nearly everyone else did, which was to take out the steam engine and put in an easily operated diesel.

“When you look at the ship and see the small size of the rudder and the huge propeller, you realise she’s relying on torque rather than revs.

Urban Space Management’s Eric Reynolds – image Jon Massey

“I really take my hat off to her crew – operating her in a crowded dock. With modern vessels you have bow thrusters and they can turn on a sixpence whatever the weather.

“With Robin you’d have had to spend 12 hours just getting steam up – their lives were so hard. We have a lot of material about her working life so we’ll be able to tell people all about it – the crew on her maiden voyage, for example.

“What we won’t do is commercialise her in any way – the whole point about this ship is she looks and feels like one that would carry coals from Newcastle and salted herring from Aberdeen.

“That should be respected and the entire idea is to create a free access open museum, along the lines of Blists Hill in Shropshire, where people can come to learn.”

Trinity Buoy Wharf plans to work with a cross section of organisations including schools, artists and musicians to explore and illuminate the vessel’s heritage as a jumping off point for study, not least in the fields of science and technology.

It also intends to tell the story of the ship’s construction at the yard of Mackenzie, MacAlpine And Company in Blackwall.

“That’s really quite amazing,” said Eric.

“With health and safety now, we could never imagine a 14-year-old boy throwing lumps of red hot metal up for someone else to catch in a shovel.

“The majority of the ship is original, and when we cut some of the metal and sent it away, the people said that you couldn’t get iron like this any more.

“It was probably made by some process that you wouldn’t be allowed to do now.

“For young people it’s a window into a lost world – an educational asset rather than a tourist attraction.”

In time, Trinity Buoy Wharf plans to bring all the historic vessels in its collection together with row barge Diana and the tugs Knocker White and Suncrest connected to the SS Robin, so visitors can tour all of them.

Watch this space for an opening date for the historic vessel.

Find out more about the SS Robin at Trinity Buoy Wharf here

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to our free Wharf Whispers newsletter here

- Jon Massey is co-founder and editorial director of Wharf Life and writes about a wide range of subjects in Canary Wharf, Docklands and east London - contact via jon.massey@wharf-life.com

July 27, 2023July 27, 2023

Wapping: How Terrible Thames is part river tour, part anarchic theatre show

Co-written by Terry Deary of Horrible Histories fame, the boat trip departs daily

Terrible Thames lasts 45 minutes and sails from Tower Bridge to Parliament and back

Subscribe to our Wharf Whispers newsletter here

REVIEW

There’s real depth to Terrible Thames.

I’m not just talking about the part of this touring play that deals with Julius Caesar crossing the river with an elephant when the whole body of water was much wider and shallower.

I’m referring to the sheer displaced tonnage of gruesome facts and aquatic curiosities that Horrible Histories author Terry Deary and Birmingham Stage Company actor manager Neal Foster have filled this 45-minute show with.

The former is well known for celebrating the brutal and shocking as a way to engage minds young and old in the study of the past.

The latter has long been a partner in bringing his written works to the stage.

But this collaboration – running every day over the summer holidays – is truly something different, seating its audience on the top deck of a boat and taking them on a cruise through the landmarks its inspired by.

Passengers take to the top deck of Silver Sockeye – part of Woods Silver Fleet – for a trip up the river to the Houses Of Parliament before heading back to Wapping and returning to base at Tower Quay Pier.

The show itself rests on the premise of a long-suffering teacher taking an excitable and enthusiastic student on a trip up the Thames as a treat for winning the school history prize.

The twist in the tale, of course, is that the teenager knows far more about London and the river’s horrific history than the teacher – thanks, it seems, to a suspiciously high number of informative relations who have all played their parts in the city’s story over the years.

From the audience’s point of view, it’s a hectic barrage of information. Dozens of anecdotes and morsels bubble up to the surface as the two performers coordinate their material with the passing sights.

The show takes place on the top deck of a boat

We learn about executions, plague, fire, suicide and even a boating disaster, in all their gory details as London slips by.

Perfectly timed sound effects provide aural punctuation as the actors dice and slice imaginary victims to the obvious delight of both adults and children.

And while there’s an inevitable focus on the violent and terrifying, there’s a lot more to this show than just blood and guts.

For example, Cleopatra’s needle is revealed to be nothing to do with its namesake but rather an obelisk carved in the time of Thutmose III.

Similarly, we also learn that Waterloo Bridge was largely built by women during the war in the 1940s and that Vikings led by King Olaf of Norway (probably) pulled down a wooden iteration of London Bridge using cables and longships to help beat the Danes who had taken control of the city.

The flow of information is thicker than the Thames would have been during the big stink and even printing these spoilers doesn’t make a dent in the overall experience.

It’s a trip that works on many levels. For the kids there’s poo, songs, rude words and an irreverent youngster showing up his teacher.

The show takes place on board Silver Sockeye, part of Woods Silver Fleet

For adults there are plenty of political references and opportunities to groan in a knowing way at the odd heavy handed pun.

For the tourists it’s a breathtaking barrage of information and tales that would never find their way into scripts for more staid, serious tours.

Then – crucially, for Londoners – there’s such a wealth of stories that there’s almost certainly going to be several tales they haven’t heard before – a new way to see the river that for so long provided the lifeblood of the capital and remains its twisting backbone.

It’s also a testament to the writers that they haven’t tried to shy away from anything.

In addition to the gore and heads on spikes, there’s a poignant reminder that so much of London’s wealth and prosperity rests on Britain’s enthusiastic, mercenary appetite for the slave trade with slavers compensated for their losses when abolition eventually arrived.

All in all, this is a truly refreshing way to see the city with fresh eyes – oh, and there’s a good old shanty to round things off.

Tickets for Terrible Thames start at £25 for adults and £15 for children aged 3-15. Babies and toddlers go free. Shows take place daily over summer 2023 and tickets can be booked here

James plays the role of Billy The Student in Terrible Thames

CREWING THE SCENERY – James Elliott, Billy The Student

“I really enjoyed Horrible Histories – the books and the TV shows – as a kid, so I was buzzing when I got an audition for Terrible Thames in 2021,” said James, who plays boisterous 13-year-old Billy in the production.

“They asked me to film an interactive horror tour around a London flat, so all my housemates helped out and we ended up with a really funny video that got me the job and I’ve been doing it ever since.”

Having attended Stagecoach, James went on to attend drama school in Guildford, graduating into an acting world ravaged by Covid.

“There was nothing much going on, so I spent a lot of time sitting on my thumbs for the first year before this role came along,” he said.

“The Thames is such a gorgeous place in the summer with the light shining off the water – it’s really magical. I really like that Billy gets to do a couple of songs during the show.

“There’s one about poo, which the kids really love, so I direct it at the adults who don’t quite know where to look, which is also good fun.

“Of course there are lots of other cruises and history tours on the river, but there’s nothing else like this. It’s fun, fast-paced and super informative – a show that’s great for kids and adults.

“It’s a play while also being a tour – audiences will learn about so many things from Execution Dock in Wapping all the way up to Parliament, two miles up the river.

“The reaction I’ve had from family and friends is that they’ve learnt so much about London from going on the trip.”

Jake plays the role of The Teacher in Terrible Thames

CAST OFF – Jake Addley, The Teacher

Playing the role of The Teacher, Jake Addley is a member of the current rotating cast of Terrible Thames.

Essentially the more sensible and serious of the two characters, whose pomposity is constantly pricked by his exuberant student.

Jake said: “I started off as a child actor, appearing in Shakespeare plays and pantomimes from about the age of 10 at an arts centre in Bracknell.

“Then I got an opportunity to attend the Brit School when I was 16 and my career went from there. I wanted to be a dancer for a long time, so I was in a contemporary dance group.

“From the age of 18, I was appearing professionally.

“About two years ago I was performing in another show and got asked if I wanted to audition for Terrible Thames – I did so and got the part.

“Having the river as your set is amazing, especially if it’s a nice sunny day – cruising up and down between all these iconic buildings and historic monuments.

“However, because the tide goes in and out the speed of the boat up and down stream can change completely so as performers we have to alter what we’re doing depending on that.

“Performing with James is great because initially I was coming into it new whereas he’s an old hand – when we’re chopping and changing things he’s a real pro.

“My favourite fact on the tour is that the Ministry Of Defence building still has Henry VIII’s wine cellar underneath it, which I had no idea about.

“I’m also embarrassed to say that before I got this role, I had no idea Cleopatra’s Needle was on the Thames, despite living in London.”

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to our Wharf Whispers newsletter here

- Jon Massey is co-founder and editorial director of Wharf Life and writes about a wide range of subjects in Canary Wharf, Docklands and east London - contact via jon.massey@wharf-life.com

March 8, 2023March 8, 2023

Wapping: How artist Ed J Bucknall captures snapshots of London in his creative work

Architect turned painter sells work in person at Wapping Docklands Market + Canada Water Market

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s newsletter here

“You can never run out of things to paint in London,” said Ed J Bucknall.

While he doesn’t say so explicitly during our interview, it’s clear the Wapping-based artist has a deep passion for the city around him – a deep connection to and endless fascination with the very fabric of the place.

“A lot of the inspiration for me is derived from the Thames – the changing light and the changing skyline – because London’s being constantly reconfigured,” he said.

“My works are almost snapshots to record this decade of London expanding.

“I always carry a sketchbook with me, so I’m often seen locally, sketching and drawing in pubs in winter and outdoors in summer.

“I do as much of my work as I can on location, including painting.

“I work in pen and ink, watercolour, acrylic and oils on paper, canvas and even marble.

“I’m self-taught and the nice thing is that I haven’t been moulded to a particular style or technique. I paint what I want to paint and people either like it or not.

“Over time, I’ve learnt techniques that work for me and I take inspiration from generations of amazing artists.”

Detail from Canary Wharf In Mist by Ed J Bucknall

Originally Ed trained as an architect in Leeds, before moving to London in 2011 and continuing to practise his chosen profession.

While drawing was one of the things that first attracted him to architecture, he increasingly found the digital side of his work less satisfying, which prompted a change in direction with the arrival of the pandemic.

“From an early age I’d always painted and drawn for pleasure,” he said.

“When I started as an architect, it was all rooms full of drawing boards, but with computer aided design, you hardly see anything like that now.

“I was having some success with gallery shows and selling art alongside my career as an architect and the lockdowns were the catalyst for me to move into making art full-time.

“I started selling paintings at Wapping Docklands Market at Brussels Wharf in 2021 on Saturdays and then, last year, at Canada Water Market in Deal Porter Square on Sundays.

“I was the first non-food trader at the former and that’s now brought in a lot more crafts, which have been very popular.

Detail from Great Jubilee Wharf by Ed J Bucknall

“At the same time, I exhibit full time at Skylark Galleries on the South Bank.

“Between those three, it’s been great for exposure and I’ve had a lot of success with ongoing commissions including pub signs and bespoke cards for Greene King to sell in their pubs.

“I’ve also had some of my images appear in worldwide publications.

“Art has always been my passion, but I never thought I would make ends meet as an artist.

“One of the things that has surprised and encouraged me since going full time is that it’s possible to make a living making art in London.

“Fortunately for me, my work strikes a chord with a whole range of different people – locals who have lived in the area for many years and are delighted to see an artist draw and paint what they see and experience, people moving into the area, some moving out and tourists visiting.

“I think what appeals is that my pieces are quite traditional but they are not just photos. They are my take on whatever I see inspired by a particular view or the light.”

While Ed’s work often features familiar landmarks, he’s always looking to bring a fresh perspective to the places he draws and paints.

Detail from Shadwell Basin, Wapping by Ed J Bucknall

“Low vantage points always inspire me,” he said.

“When the tide goes out and you’re down on the Thames foreshore, you see buildings and the whole of London in a different way.

“I used to kayak on the Thames, so I was privileged to see unusual views, and that’s part of my mindset. It’s escapism from the hustle and bustle of the city.

“You can be in central London, or in Wapping, just down by the water and it gives you a sense of tranquillity – although you have to be aware of the tides of course, which can also change the view as boats rise and fall.

“The sketches I do on location are much better than photographs, which can distort things – so they are my crib-sheet for working on the finished pieces in the studio.

“I find the paintings just happen – some are happy accidents and some come through skills that I’ve picked up by trial and error.

“Some of my pieces are painted on reclaimed marble, which is quite unusual.

“They look almost three dimensional and have a connection to the history of London.

“Some of the marble I use is recycled Thames ballast that would have been dumped in the river in the 18th and 19th centuries after ships had taken on cargo.

“It has natural patterning and colouration from its time in the river and that’s something I work with.”

A sketch by Ed of the interior of The Grapes pub in Limehouse

As a registered mudlark, Ed has a physical link to both the subject of his paintings and, with the marble, the medium he works with.

“I don’t dig or scrape on the foreshore, I just pick things up from the surface,” he said.

“Anything of archaeological significance is recorded and reported to the Museum Of London.

“The Thames is like a washing machine – items just get churned up and uncovered.”

Trading at the market is another point of connection, where visitors can browse his works or chat with their creator.

“It’s been a steep learning curve but one that I’ve really enjoyed,” he said. “It’s lovely to meet both fellow traders and the general public.

Detail from Ed’s painting of Canary Wharf on reclaimed marble

“I think it’s important that people have an opportunity to speak to artists and I’ve had lovely stories of young people being inspired by my work.”

As for the future, Ed intends to continue balancing the work he wants to paint with commissions from commercial clients and individuals.

Ed’s work is available to buy online with an extensive range of signed prints from £35 and greetings cards and postcards also available. Prices for the latter start at £2.

Readers can also find Ed at Wapping Docklands Market, which runs at Brussels Wharf from 10am-4pm on Saturdays and at Canada Water Market at Deal Porter Square on Sundays at the same times.

Detail from Ed’s painting of St Paul’s on reclaimed marble

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s newsletter here

- Jon Massey is co-founder and editorial director of Wharf Life and writes about a wide range of subjects in Canary Wharf, Docklands and east London - contact via jon.massey@wharf-life.com

October 26, 2022October 26, 2022

Wapping: How Wilton’s take on The Wind In The Willows stays true to its source

Venue’s festive production for 2022 updates classic to a modern setting and moves Christmas

Author and playwright Piers Torday at Wilton’s Music Hall

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

Piers Torday is no stranger to creating festive adaptations for the ancient boards of Wilton’s Music Hall in Wapping.

The children’s author, best known for The Last Wild series, has brought John Masefield’s The Box Of Delights, Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol and last year Elizabeth Gaskell’s The Old Nurse’s Tale (rechristened as The Child In The Snow) to the east London stage.

November 2022, however, sees him go beyond renaming as he and the team retool Kenneth Grahame’s The Wind In The Willows as a modern Christmas show, complete with strikethrough.

The Wind In The ~~Willows~~ Wilton’s takes the original book’s familiar characters, takes them out of the Edwardian period and carries them into the 21st century, with the plot also pulled further downstream into central London.

“We changed the name partly because it was irresistible not to, but also to reflect the fact that this is a slightly different version of the story from one that people may have seen before,” said Piers.

“It’s always been adapted in period dress, full Edwardian, with colourful waistcoats and police in uniforms – and I’ve much enjoyed those versions – but we wanted to bring things up to date a bit to reflect the world we live in and the audiences that we serve at Wilton’s.

“So we’ve not set it down the Thames in Cookham – where Kenneth Grahame lived – we’ve brought it downstream, where the river goes past Wilton’s, and into the heart of London and the City.

“It’s set now in 2022, Mole lives in Hyde Park and we’ve moved the Wild Wood to the financial district, and we’ve balanced the gender make-up so it’s not just chaps having a jolly good time.

“In doing that, however, we’ve remained completely faithful to the spirit of the book.

“When it was written, the book was unbelievably modern – full of stuff about motor cars and the characters having very contemporary adventures.

“Increasingly over time those things have become nostalgic, and the spirit of the book is about being very current.”

In addition to altering some details of the setting, Piers has also shifted the timeline around to reflect the season.

Wilton’s festive show is and update of The Wind In The Willows

“The Wind In The Willows famously starts in spring, with Mole doing his cleaning, but in the book, rather madly, Christmas happens two-thirds of the way through,” he said.

“We’ve rearranged it so that Christmas takes place at the end – we’ve ordered the events more logically.

“I don’t want to give too much away, but it’s still about four friends and I think most people can recognise themselves or their friends in the main characters.

“Toad Hall will still be taken over by the weasels but part of the fun is for audiences to see what we’ve done with it.

“It’s been a huge amount of fun, putting it together – no-one has really updated the story before so it’s been the most brilliant opportunity and we’ve done it with lots of song and dance.

“The original book is actually full of songs woven into the story, so we’ve used quite a lot of those lyrics and written some to complement them.

“What many people also forget about this story is that it contains some of the most beautiful descriptions of the English countryside in literature.

“Kenneth Grahame wasn’t really a writer, as such; he was someone who dabbled in writing and became famous through this book, but he definitely had a poet’s ear for describing our riverbanks, our natural flora and fauna.

“It’s not very dramatic, but we’ve tried to honour that as we tell the story in the age of climate crisis, so it’s going to be full of real bits of nature.

“We’ve tried not to buy anything new, but to use everything, which is as sustainable and low-impact on the environment as possible. It will look spectacular, but it’s not going to cost the earth.”

For Piers, the task of adapting The Wind In The Willows was more than just about creating a festive show.

“I’ve always wanted to adapt it,” he said. “I write books about talking animals and I date my curiosity in that area to my parents reading me The Wind In The Willows.

“Some of the characters I’ve created myself are probably the result of numerous reiterations that started with Mole or Ratty.

“Even if they’ve not read the book, the audience will probably be aware of the idea of irresponsible Mr Toad, grumpy Badger in his sett or the very shy Mole blinking in the sunlight – it’s part of our national culture.

“To bring this London version of the story to life is a real joy.

“I think talking animals are very appealing because they allow children to experience adult emotions without feeling that they’re having to be little adults.

“In the story the animals live in houses of their own, they have their own occupations, they drive cars, they go to the shops, they go to court, so they do adult things – but there’s something enormously childlike about them too.

“They’re larger-than-life characters.”

The venue’s Christmas show is aimed at kids and adults alike

While The Wind In The ~~Willows~~ Wilton’s is not a pantomime, Piers said it had been written to entertain all ages, including some topical references – a challenge given the current political turmoil.

“When I started writing, the character of Toad was irresistibly like Boris Johnson, but those references have all gone, for the moment,” he said.

“It’s not a panto, so it’s not going to be full of up-to-the minute references to the latest thing or celebrity gossip – but it is a Christmas show and they always have an end-of-term-sketch feel about them

“You want to draw people together. It’s very different to working on a normal play. For many, especially young people, a Christmas show might be the only time they will go to the theatre with their parents.

“It’s a family outing, so you have to try to include everyone and it’s Christmas so you have to remember people are there to have a nice time.

“To do that you have to have stories and jokes that operate on many levels.

“Children will see the show as a battle, a story with funny scenes of Toad getting cross and losing something, but there may also be references for adults about the cost-of-living crisis or whatever else is going on, to make them feel they’re included in the story too.

“While it’s absolutely terrifying to work on something like this because you can see how it’s received every night, it’s also a great privilege to see those responses.

“Theatre is irresistible and thrilling because it is something that happens in the moment. That experience – when someone makes it work – is the most special one you can have.”

The Wind In The ~~Willows~~ Wilton’s runs at Wilton’s Music Hall from November 24 to December 31, 2022. Performance times are 7.30pm with Saturday matinees at 2.30pm. Tickets start at £13.

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

- Jon Massey is co-founder and editorial director of Wharf Life and writes about a wide range of subjects in Canary Wharf, Docklands and east London - contact via jon.massey@wharf-life.com

August 19, 2022August 19, 2022

Wapping: Why photographer Jonathan Goldberg travels to islands in the Thames

Jonathan will present a talk about his work at the Classic Boat Festival in St Katharine Docks

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

BY LAURA ENFIELD

Did you know there are 180 islands in the River Thames? That’s 180 mysterious pockets of land most of us will never set foot on.

If your interest has been piqued, you’re in good company, because I was enthralled when photographer Jonathan Goldberg began to tell me of his journey into the unknown.

He has visited 65 islands over the last four years for his series Estuary Hopes, Upstream Dreams, which captures life on their shores including an abandoned torpedo factory and an artists commune.

“I’ve always been fascinated by islands in general, and my projects are often based around my backyard,” said the Willesden Green resident.

“Other photographers might want to go to exotic locations and travel far, but that leaves a big carbon footprint and there’s so much on your doorstep you might not know about.

One of Jonathan's images of Taggs Island — One of Jonathan’s images of Taggs Island

“The Thames islands are every bit as intriguing as the more publicised locations precisely because they lie under the radar.

“I’m always quite fascinated by things that are seemingly so close yet a little bit hidden.”

He will be sharing details of his journey at St Katharine Docks this summer as part of the Classic Boat Festival, which in turn is part of the Totally Thames Festival.

The 49-year-old will be discussing his work with author and journalist Sasha Arms, whose book, Carl Goes London Islands informed his travels.

Some photographers do not have a predilection for verbosity and there is an argument that art should not be explained.

But Jonathan gallantly attempted to answer my questions about his travels, which he said gave him a greater awareness of the layers of history and many quirks to be found along the river.

His first stop was Eel Pie Island in Twickenham, one of 60 inhabited blobs of land in the Thames.

One of Jonathan's Eel Pie Island images — One of Jonathan’s Eel Pie Island images

“People of a certain age tend to know about it because it’s got a very colourful history,” he said.

“In the 1960s and 1970s, there was a venue where a lot of the big music performers of the day played – The Who, Pink Floyd and David Bowie.

“It’s sort of private now, but it’s home to a lot of artists’ studios and they have an open day twice a year, so I went in the summer and it piqued my curiosity.”

He took the easier road (or waterway) next, travelling to the islands that are designated parkland or open to the public.

“I fixed on the people who frequented the islands and tried to find interesting and diverse characters and the everyday goings on,” he said.

One of his favourite discoveries was Tagg’s Island near Hampton.

“It’s quite exotic-looking because the landscape gardener has planted numerous plants and there’s a lagoon in the middle of the island,” he said.

“All around it are these houses which look really interesting because they are technically houseboats but never move – they are moored permanently.

“Something about the architecture is really ornate and quirky.”

The softly spoken photographer, who started his career on newspapers such as the Hendon Times and the Ham And High in the 1990s, was mostly welcomed ashore.

But he recalls one island that “looked like an 1980s housing estate” where his subjects were extremely reticent about appearing in front of the lens and all but escorted him back to the river after 30 minutes.

In contrast, he has spent “too much time” on Canvey Island and some of its most easterly neighbours.

One of Jonathan's images of Lots Ait — One of Jonathan’s images of Lots Ait

Jonathan said: “Sheppey is one of my favourite places to photograph because it feels rather like the end of the world and is a bit weird with loads of diverse things going on – an industrial corner, a nudist beach, a tacky holiday resort and a nature reserve.”

The furthest west he has been is Osney, near Oxford, and Fry’s Island near Reading, which is almost entirely given over to the Island Bohemian Bowls Club.

He has plans to explore that area further, ahead of an exhibition in Henley next year which will showcase part two of the project.

“I’ll keep going because there are some islands that really interest me and I want to represent a few other facets of island life in my photos,” he said.

However, there are some islands he knows he will probably never get to set foot on.

“Magna Carta Island, which was where the Magna Carta was signed, has just one big mansion that’s owned by a private individual.

“I don’t feel like I’m going to get a chance to photograph that,” he said.

While that piece of history has been allowed to slip away from public view, others like Platt’s Eyot have benefited from their remoteness.

“It’s home to an enormous warehouse and used to be where World War Two torpedoes were constructed,” said Jonathan.

“It’s semi-derelict but preserved, so they’re not allowed to knock it down.

“I think that if this warehouse had been on the mainland it might have been demolished for housing.”

This project follows his series The Runway Stops Here, which documented a different kind of island – an ecological one.

He spent five years visiting and photographing Grow Heathrow – a sustainable community living entirely off-grid in protest at the proposed expansion of the airport.

One of Jonathan's images of Trowlock Island — One of Jonathan’s images of Trowlock Island

“I would sit around the campfire, help out, make food and that played quite a formative role in my life,” he said.

“It was really great to hang out with a lot of people who were really committed to environmental protest and living sustainably.”

Jonathan said he is often lured by the siren call of the islands to make his own escape from mainstream society.

“I often get a real yearning to snap up a property and think it would be lovely to live there,” he said. “But then again, there are practicalities that need to be considered.

“Some have flooding issues, some you have to get a boat to and, in the winter, they’re not as appealing.”

For now, he’s happy to document these snippets of land that are imbued with so much history and encourage others to look more closely at the landscape around them.

“Hopefully, my pictures will encourage people to seek out places that are surrounded by nature and wildlife, look around more and have a greater interest in the natural world in the immediate vicinity,” he said.

“The islands are a really great place to be a bit more at one with nature because, with water all around, you are, by definition, surrounded by nature.

“You get an amplified sense of the changing seasons and time of day and beautiful sunsets and sunrises – a feeling of tranquillity.”

Thames Islands: Presentation and Discussion is set to take place on September 10 from 3pm-4.30pm. Entry is free.

A free exhibition of Estuary Hopes, Upstream Dreams will be held throughout September at Watermans Arts Centre, Brentford.

The Classic Boat Festival at St Katharine Docks

EVENTS + TALKS AT THE CLASSIC BOAT FESTIVAL

The free three-day boating extravaganza returns with around 40 vintage and preserved vessels assembling in the central basin of St Katharine Docks.

They will include the Dunkirk Little Ships, Bates Starcraft and other working vessels. Visitors will be able to board some of them and meet their owners.

The festival is set to run September 9-11 in the afternoon (3pm-5.30pm) on the Friday, and from 11am-6pm on the Saturday and 11am-5pm on the Sunday.

The opening and closing will be marked each day with a salute of horns.

There will also be food stalls, entertainment, nautical goods and services available on Marble Quay. Talks will be held on the SKD events platform and include:

Tom Cunliffe – Fri, 4pm

The Queen’s Row Barge Gloriana – Sat, noon

The history of St Katherine Docks with Dr Oliver Ayers – Sat, 1.30pm

Thames Islands – Sat, 3pm

Gloriana as above – Sun, noon

Association of Dunkirk Little Ships – Sun, 3pm

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

- Laura Enfield is a regular contributor to Wharf Life, writing about a wide range of subjects across Docklands and east London

July 6, 2022July 6, 2022

Leamouth: How Trinity Buoy Wharf could combine a river crossing with flats

Living Bridge would join agreed Hercules plan over the Lea to connect Newham and Tower Hamlets

An artist's impression of USM's Living Bridge idea — An artist’s impression of USM’s Living Bridge idea

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

It starts with an idea. The concept of people living on bridges isn’t new – they’ve been doing that for hundreds of years all over the world.

But Urban Space Management’s (USM) “aspirational” suggestion for a residential crossing at Trinity Buoy Wharf, spanning the mouth of the River Lea still feels a little bit visionary.

There’s something inherently attractive about inhabiting structures over water. Looking back, we have the historical romance of the Old London Bridge and the Ponte Vecchio in Florence, for example.

Flowing forward, there’s author William Gibson’s sci-fi vision of a jerry-built, self-governing shanty town clinging to the steel bones of San Francisco’s Bay Bridge.

This imaginary leap into a near future – where a ribbon of infrastructure is repurposed by a passionate, vibrant community of squatters, reacting to the pressures of insufficient housing and oppression – is a flash of what necessity and collaboration might be capable of. It’s counter-cultural, haphazard and seductive.

USM’s plan for a Living Bridge has something of both examples.

It’s a functional proposal – a connection to Royal Docks for pedestrians and cyclists that would ensure a flow of traffic through the existing site.

But it’s also the root of a future community, with around 70 properties suspended from the steel arch that would support the entire structure – brought to life in Cartwright Pickard’s illustrative designs.

Access to the river would be preserved for taller vessels with a section of the bridge able to lift to allow safe passage.

Planning permission has already been granted for one crossing in the area – Hercules Bridge over the Lea on the northern edge of Ballymore’s Goodluck Hope development.

If built, this would connect to both a footpath towards Canning Town station as well as to the Lower Lea Crossing flyover for access to Royal Docks.

USM is currently gathering feedback on a range of ideas to improve connectivity in and around Trinity Buoy Wharf, with a consultation running until July 20, 2022.

Its plans aim to help overcome barriers such as roads, rivers and railways to make journeys that are complicated now, simpler in the future.

USM founding director Eric Reynolds said: “Right from the beginning, I thought the problem for this whole bit of London was that it is disconnected from itself in every way.

“Standing on the roof of the building that’s now occupied by Faraday Prep School at Trinity Buoy Wharf in the late 1990s, it was clear we should be doing something about this.

“Our outline planning application for the site allows us to build a bridge as a continuation of Orchard Place because it always seemed to me that the Lea should have more than a road bridge over it – there should also be something for pedestrians and cyclists.

“We should be connecting people, not just for us, but also for people living north and east of here – in Canning Town for example.

“They should see the river as part of their back or front garden, not something that’s just hidden away.”

A rendering of the Living Bridge by night

The case for a second bridge becomes increasingly clear when future development is taken into account.

The Thameside West scheme is expected to deliver some 5,000 new homes just across the river as well as a new DLR station, a school and industrial and creative workspaces.

“One of the things we did achieve years ago was to persuade the DLR planners to leave a straight bit of track on that land to allow potential for that station,” said Eric.

“It didn’t make sense then, but, with thousands of homes and a new town centre coming, it does now.

“Regarding the bridge – it may be that we put homes on it, we don’t know yet. We think there are two good reasons for doing it.

Firstly it creates new land and a new opportunity for a community.

“Secondly, in doing that, it offsets the cost of the bridge – so there’s an economic and a social argument.

“The Living Bridge would also be a big signpost to the importance and value of the River Lea, which was a vital part of the transport of this area – a line of power and industry – before it silted up. It deserves that recognition.

“Imagine coming up the Thames and seeing this out-of-scale bridge, all lit up with people living inside it.

“I really think it would appeal to Londoners – every building along the river is worked so as many properties as possible have views of the water.

“Here it would be right underneath – with no risk of anyone building in front of or behind you.”

An artist’s impression of the Hercules Bridge proposal

But does an area that is already connected to Canning Town via London City Island’s bridge and, potentially the already agreed Hercules Bridge really need another crossing?

“At the moment, the existing bridge takes you to the top of London City Island but we have an awful lot of walkers, dog owners, cyclists, hikers and so on who come to Trinity Buoy Wharf and would really like not to have to go back on themselves,” said Eric.

“The Hercules Bridge gives people the chance to do something different – to walk round the edge of the Lea and follow the river north.

“What the Living Bridge would do is to make it much easier to follow the Thames along the southern edge of Royal Docks as far as Barrier Park.

“It increases the potential for pedestrians and cyclists to reach these areas.

“It’s also in some ways an attempt to re-invent a community that was here in the past.

“There was a small fishing community and a school here, which was wiped away when local authorities decided that slum clearances were the thing to do.

“There also used to be a little ferry that took people across the Lea because the Thames Ironworks and Orchard Wharf needed to get their workers to work.

“During the Crossrail Works, the foundations for that ferry were found, so this has grown partly out of what we perceive as a respect for the past and an aspiration for the future.”

At present Trinity Buoy Wharf is a dead end for walkers and cyclists

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

- Jon Massey is co-founder and editorial director of Wharf Life and writes about a wide range of subjects in Canary Wharf, Docklands and east London - contact via jon.massey@wharf-life.com

May 13, 2022May 13, 2022

Isle Of Dogs: Why the Massey Shaw fireboat is seeking new volunteers

Historic vessel lying in West India South Dock looks to ensure its stories continue to be told

Massey Shaw is currently moored at West India South Dock

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

This is not the story of the fireboat Massey Shaw. How could it be?

Just to stand on the deck of this remarkable craft at her berth in West India South Dock is to feel her planks and steel plates quietly pulse with the decades of history they’ve absorbed.

It would be possible to fill this space many times over without coming close to bottoming out the sheer depth of material associated with this remarkable boat.

It might be the part she played saving goods worth many millions of pounds just a year after coming into service by blasting down the walls of a warehouse with the power of her main jet to stop a fire in its tracks at Colonial Wharf in Wapping.

It could be the more than 500 lives she saved as part of the flotilla of little ships launched to help rescue British servicemen from the beaches at Dunkirk in 1940 – ferrying soldiers from the land to larger craft and herself taking about 100 back across the channel, making three trips despite the danger of the sea and enemy fire.

Or it may be the part she played in the desperate firefighting effort during the Blitz.

But these stories – and many more – are best told by those who know, the volunteers who are working to keep her shipshape and who hope eventually to open her to the public as a museum ship.

Built in 1935 by J Samuel Whites at Cowes on the Isle Of Wight for £18,000 (more than £2million in today’s money) she served the London Fire Brigade from launch until 1971.

After a decade in the wilderness, in 1982, the Massey Shaw And Marine Vessels Preservation Society embarked on a project to restore her and to sail her once again to Dunkirk for the first time since the 1960s.

Today, after much passion, a sinking, restoration work, vandalism, repair and renovation, she lies by the entrance to West India Docks, sharing space with the 1920s steam tug Portwey and the Dockland Scout Project.

From there, the Massey Shaw Education Trust, as the society has become, intends to use its 40th anniversary year to raise awareness of its work, the vessel herself and the opportunities available for those who might like to get involved with the ongoing project.

Trust CEO David Rogers – himself a former firefighter, albeit a land-based one – said: “We’re a completely voluntary organisation and we’d really like to engage with a wider audience including people who are in Docklands.

“Perhaps they’ve seen this black and red boat that looks a bit strange – we often get questions about what she is and what she does.

“So one of the things we want to do is to get more volunteers of all ages who can come along and support us in our plans for the boat.

“We’ve had her for 40 years, but we see ourselves as custodians and we now need people to take her forward for the next 40.

“This boat has a unique history and we want to help people understand it and to help shape it whether they’re involved in the fire service or not.

“We want people to come and be trained so they can run the engines, operate the boat and man her pumps so she can appear at events.

“But we also have a big archive that we’ve built up over the years, so we need people with IT skills to help organise and digitise that.”

Massey Shaw Educational Trust CEO David Rogers – image Matt Grayson

Currently the team are working towards getting Massey Shaw ready to once more cross the channel in 2025.

“We’re part of Dunkirk Little Ships, which celebrates the journey made by those boats in 1940 to save troops from the beaches,” said David.

“The crews who went over during the war were all volunteer firemen and fortunately they all came back safely, but some of the soldiers they rescued had been badly injured.

“We’d especially like young people to take part in our next trip, to learn the skills that were taught back in the 1930s, which are needed to operate the boat so future generations can continue to enjoy and learn about her.

“Volunteering is a great deal of fun – over the 40 years I’ve been involved, I’ve met some fantastic people and I’ve always enjoyed it.

“It’s great when visitors come onto the boat, especially if they have stories to share about individuals who perhaps served on Massey Shaw or were associated with her.

Massey's 'monitor' which shoots its main jet — Massey’s ‘monitor’ which shoots its main jet – image Matt Grayson

“Also, the opportunity to go out on the boat, to show people what she can do and what it was like in its early days gives you a real buzz. We’re here to prove she can still do the job she was built for.”

Descend into Massey Shaw’s engine and pump room and you can see exactly what he’s talking about.

The beating heart of the vessel is her two main engines that require constant maintenance to both propel the boat and to power its firefighting equipment, capable of pumping enormous amounts of water to where it’s needed.

David says the main brass cannon on deck – called ‘the monitor’ – is capable of pumping 13,000 litres of water every single minute with enough force to propel the whole boat along when in full flow.

“Last year we had an open day and the pump was running and the harbour master ran up the dock and said it was just fantastic – that he’d never seen anything like it,” said David.

“That’s the reaction we want – people clap and cheer because it’s such a great thing to see. We’re hoping to hold another open day to raise greater awareness of what we’re doing on August 14 and we’re very keen to attract new visitors.

“Beyond that we’re working to get Massey Shaw ready for Dunkirk in 2025 and we have an Arts Council application in to become an independent museum.

“Then we want to find somewhere we can have a link to the shore so we can display our archive.

“We’re also looking to partner with other local organisations and companies so we can expand and move forward from here.”

The Massey Shaw Education Trust is actively seeking new volunteers, partnerships and funding for its activities.

One of Massey's two main engines — One of Massey’s two main engines – image Matt Grayson

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

- Jon Massey is co-founder and editorial director of Wharf Life and writes about a wide range of subjects in Canary Wharf, Docklands and east London - contact via jon.massey@wharf-life.com

May 12, 2022May 13, 2022

Tower Bridge: How Terrible Thames floats Horrible Histories down the river

Woods Silver Fleet operates the boat hosting the shows from its Tower Quay Pier in east London

Terrible Thames co-writer and director Neal Foster and Kate Woods of Woods Silver Fleet – image Matt Grayson

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

It’s fair to say the Woods family have some history with the river.

Thames Watermen since 1866, Lillian and Alfred Woods launched sightseeing tours of the capital from the Tower Of London in the early part of the 20th century – an enterprise that boomed in the 1950s around the Festival Of Britain.

Lillian then encouraged her son Alan with his idea to gradually build the Silver Fleet – a series of vessels built for the Thames in Kent and Suffolk shipyards.

While Alan remains chair of the company, today its course is steered by the next generation – siblings Thomas, William and Kate – who have spent the last two decades overseeing its growth as a provider of luxury river cruise ships for events and private charters.

Over the years the Silver Fleet has welcomed film stars, politicians and members of the royal family on board – and that remains its core business.

But history also has a funny way of coming full circle and, in possession of refurbished 1980s vessel Silver Sockeye and, having acquired Tower Quay Pier, the family has made a move back to sightseeing, albeit with a fairly big difference.

“We had this boat, which was built by my father with a lot of love – it was looking fantastic after its refurbishment, with all the lovely woodwork inside – and we thought it would make the best sightseeing cruise in London,” said Kate Woods, who works as design and development director at Woods’ Silver Fleet.

“We also thought there was nothing on the river to entertain children, so we looked and looked and, without really understanding how Horrible Histories worked, we approached Neal with the idea that we were Thames Watermen with a nice history and that it would be an interesting idea to bring the brand to the Thames.

“We’d also bought the pier by Tower Bridge, which is a great location, so we were absolutely delighted when it fired him up.”

Silver Sockeye in here Terrible Thames livery

Neal, by the way, is Neal Foster – actor manager of the Birmingham Stage Company, resident at The Old Rep Theatre and the man responsible for bringing Terry Deary’s Horrible Histories to the stage worldwide as well as conceiving performances under its irreverent cartoon umbrella for the likes of Warwick Castle.

Woods’ approach resulted in Terrible Thames, a tour unlike any other on the river in that it’s a full blown theatrical performance complete with sound engineer, soundtrack and an ever-changing backdrop as the boat makes its way to Parliament and circles back to Tower Quay Pier via Execution Dock at Wapping.

Co-written by Neal and Terry, one of the biggest challenges for the team was adapting the content to the speed of the boat – something that constantly changes and is dictated largely by the ebb and flow of the tide.

“We’ve been doing Horrible Histories since 2005 and in the West End for 10 years, but we’d never done it on a boat,” said Neal.

“I was instantly attracted to the idea – I’ve always loved rivers. If I’m visiting a city, I’ll always head for a trip on a boat, so being on a boat for long periods suits me very well.

“It was also clear there was an awful lot of history in the section of the Thames we’d chosen to work with, so wherever possible we decided we wanted to attach it to whatever you could actually see from the boat.

“When we were writing the show, the two biggest problems were that firstly I didn’t know where the audience’s attention would be – whether they would be looking at the actors or at London going past.

“It turns out they were looking at the actors a lot more than expected so we had to make sure the characters really pointed to the things they were talking about.

“The second issue was the change in speed – you could almost say no two trips are ever the same – so the script had to be adaptable to cope with that while still being manageable for the actors, all while performing for the audience.

“That’s why we’ve had to rehearse thoroughly – you need actors who can think on their feet and react quickly.

“It’s a bit like doing Hamlet, but the ghost might appear at the end of the play instead and you have to kill Claudius three acts early.

“It’s why you need the sound engineer – to make sure everything happens at the right time.”

The show features a student and a teacher on a trip down the Thames

Terrible Thames cruises run regularly at weekends and during school holidays – with a full complement of half term sailings from May 30 to June 3.

“With stories constantly updated and added, it’s a 45-minute ride designed to impart knowledge with plenty of humour and the brand’s customary gore.

“The whole thing that Terry is doing with Horrible Histories is to tell you the history you don’t know or that the stories you think you know are actually completely different,” said Neal.

“One of the captains working on the boats said that he had been on the river for 20 years and he hadn’t ever known any of the stories, and that’s a chap who has lived and breathed the river.

“It really is something for Londoners as well as visitors to the capital.

“When we were writing it, Terry came up with the great idea of it being hosted by a teacher and a student who has won their school history prize and is being taken on the trip as a treat.

“The student and their family have been on the river all their lives so they are quite confident they know more about its history than the reluctant teacher. So it then becomes a battle about who knows more.

“There are 40 or 50 stories in the show, which takes in Tower Bridge, HMS Belfast, Cleopatra’s Needle, Parliament and the Gunpowder Plot – which was really on November 4 – Boadicea destroying London, the Golden Hind and even people fleeing the Great Plague by hiding on boats on the river, who died because that’s where the rats all were.”

Kate added: “I’ve been really touched by people’s reactions to it.

“With all the trained Thames watermen, there’s a real London feel to the whole experience and it’s been put together with so much love, from the actors to the illustrations on the boat that were hand-drawn especially for us.

“There’s something about the two brands going together that works so well.

“It’s been really well received, and we were sold out at Easter, but we do sometimes have walk-in spaces so if you’re in the area, it’s always worth checking the timetable.”

Terrible Thames cruises take place at weekends, daily in school holidays and on occasional days during term time to accommodate tourists and school visits.

Adult tickets cost £22 off peak and £25 on peak, with kids costing £14-£15 respectively. Under-3s go free and family tickets cost £65-£72 for two adults and two kids.

Bookings can be made here

The Terrible Thames cruises leave from Tower Quay Pier

Read Wharf Life’s e-edition here

Subscribe to Wharf Life’s weekly newsletter here

- Jon Massey is co-founder and editorial director of Wharf Life and writes about a wide range of subjects in Canary Wharf, Docklands and east London - contact via jon.massey@wharf-life.com